7 valuable money, personal finance lessons for your child

Try to mix in experiences and things as part of the deal, early on. If children know that there can be fun without having to buy stuff, they can be distracted with an activity. However, the household must have that culture. If no one cooks, cleans or does any enjoyable fun activity, the child has no role model to learn from.

There is no must have must do list for life. We have allowed rituals to rule us so much that meaningless objects are exchanged at every turn. A friend who takes the time to come home, spend time with us and to engage us in conversation is already doing a lot. Why diminish that generosity with the ritualistic need to bring some stuff when he comes over? Mindless gifting is something your child may pick up.

Everyday activities shouldn't be treated as transactions. Develop the generosity mentality that allows the child to do a good turn without expecting to be rewarded. When we reduce things to a balance score card of who did what and therefore who gets what, the child thinks that rewards are made of stuff and of measurable benefits.

Use parental authority to define who will buy stuff for the child. Many parents struggle to set rules for the child as the grandparent lurks around the corner to defy it immediately. We are acting out of love, they will promise. It takes a straightforward conversation or a great amount of tact to communicate who is in charge. They have done their job with their children and must graciously allow the new parents to have their way. This is not disrespect, but mere clarity for the little child about who is the boss.

Your little one is old enough to know opportunity cost; and also have an innate sense of fairness and justice. Tap into it to get the child to see that they can have this or that, but not both. It is a valuable money lesson and fairly easy to teach. Present the child with simple choices and let them make up their mind. A movie or fancy dinner, a weekly activity to decide are all calls that the child will be able to take with practice.

Don’t yell or scream or behave badly and hope to make it good by buying stuff or spending money. The child is smart enough to know and clever enough to manipulate you. A working mother is out to make a difference in the world, she is not going out to have fun. She need not return home with the guilt of being away and offer compensation at every turn. Travel or partying is not about bringing a pile of stuff to make up for time not spent with the child. Make sensible choices with your time, and don’t guilt yourself about it as a parent.

A two year old can pick out fruits from the store if you tell them they have to pick five out of the many stocked up. As they grow older they can compare and choose even if they can’t still add or do the math. They will own up what they choose; they will love what they do; that sense of responsibility adds weight to their decisions. They are not passive and are not blaming the parents for everything.